How to be a gay porn star

Chrissy Darling

Monday, 16 June 2008

1. First and foremost make sure there is a camera and other people involved, otherwise you aren’t in a porn film, you are having a wank!

2. Know your limitations! If there is an audition for a porn movie called ‘Black African Twink 12inch Wankfest’ and you are white, from Grimsby, with a 5 inch cock, no hands and you are a granddad and hate crowds then my advice would be not to waste your time by auditioning, 'cos bitch, you ain’t getting a part!

3. Unless you are doing a scat movie, make sure you douche; otherwise it will be like making chocolate milkshake in a blender with no top on the blender, especially in a gangbang scene!

4. NEVER work with animals! Doggy styling a doggy (the four legged kind) will result in some extreme animal rights group digging up dead relatives of yours and doing unspeakable things to the corpses and it will serve you right! Plus you will also serve time cos it’s illegal!

5. If you want to knock out the competition on set scream like a banshee on camera, then as soon as the scene is shot say quite loudly so that the other actors and the director hears: "That was the worst shag of my life! I really had to act in that scene 'cos the other guy was shite!" This will make the other actors in the scene really insecure and might stop them getting a hard on thus making you look really good in front of the director!

6. Having a huge cock is normally a pre-requisite for a pornstar but, just as important, it depends what it is attached to! Meaning if you have a horse dick on you but look like a 5ft, 20 stone Cyclops, then the latter might hinder your career!

If you follow these tips, I Chrissy Darling, guarantee they will enrich your life with more gorgeousness and glamour!

So until next time folks...

Peace and Love!
Chrissy Darling xx

www.electrobelles.com